Baby Shower
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Ditch The Guilt For Good!
   
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What Would I Do Without My Doula?
By the time my husband and I finally got pregnant the first time, I had done a lot of reading about birth options and we had already decided to have a midwife instead of a doctor. We believe .....
For most of us, being female and feeling guilty are inseparable. But just why are we so hard on ourselves? Maybe it's the feeling that we haven't lived up to our self-imposed expectations, even when they're unrealistic.By the time my husband and I finally got pregnant the first time, I had done a lot of reading about birth options and we had already decided to have a midwife instead of a doctor. We believe .....
What's worse, many women seem to have gotten the message that whenever we do something for ourselves, we're somehow cheating our families. The pull is always to help others, but it's never enough because someone always needs something.
If you're tired of wallowing in guilt, try our two-step process. First, find a quick fix to get through today, then work on a long-term solution. Here's how:
Guilt Trip "My house is a mess":
Try shortcuts. Swish out the sink and toilet with cleanser every couple of days instead of doing the entire bathroom. Get more storage. Pretty baskets or fabric-covered boxes with lids hid a multitude of sins. The mess won't seem so overwhelming if it's hidden.
Bring in reinforcements. Sit down with your spouse and kids and figure out which chores will be theirs exclusively, whether it's changing the sheets once a week or doing a load of laundry. Then stay out of it. They may not do things the same way you would, but it's better than not having the chores done at all.
Quilt Trip: "We never have enough time together as a family"
Swap nights out. Get your girlfriend to baby-sit at her house and have a night in alone with your husband. Then reciprocate for her.
Skip an hour's worth of chores. Do something fun as a family instead. No one will notice if the sheets didn't get changed or the floor didn't get vacuumed this week.
Guilt Trip: "I lost my patience"
When you snap, apologize. Even if you've had a rough day, taking it out on your spouse and kids is only going to add fuel to the fire.
Inject some humor. Make light of the situation by saying something like, "Now that I've shot off like a rocket, I'll come back down to earth and calm down." Or keep a file of favorite cartoons and jokes handy, then pull them out when you're feeling cranky. Laughing always feels better than sulking or beating yourself up because you lost it.
Guilt Trip: "I should be able to get more done"
Pare down your to-do list. Figure out what absolutely must be done this week, such as buying groceries, as opposed to what can wait until next week, like the car's oil change.
Do what you can in the here and now. Maybe you don't have time to do all the laundry today, but you can throw in a load as the kids are getting ready for school. That's one less load later.
Guilt Trip: "I want more time for myself"
Make a date. Call your girlfriend and make an appointment for coffee after work today or for lunch on Saturday. Don't just say you'll get together soon, set a date.
Stem Cell Research
You have my permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your .....
Skip one chore. Tonight, don't give the kitchen a once-over, and go to bed early instead. You'll be surprised how healing an extra half-hour of sleep can be.You have my permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your .....
Decide on at least one thing you need to do regularly to be happy, and make it sacred. One idea could be to plan week-ends away with your girlfriend or husband twice a year.
Cancel one commitment this week. You don't need to give an excuse, simply say that you can't make it.
Ditch the idea that you have to be perfect to be happy. I used to worry about whether my house was clean, if my yard looked as nice as my neighbors or how many calories I ate each day. What really makes me happy is when I'm playing with my son and he's laughing. I remind myself that this is what matters.
Author: Susan Rutter -- Publisher, Nutritionist, and Instructor who assists patients and the public make healthy choices and changes in their lives. Web Site: Healthy YOUbbies
http://www.geocities.com/healthyoubbies/